A Stand For Many Things

When little nine and a half year old Andrew brought home his report card. Mom said "how come you got several B’s instead of the usual all A’s?" Well he said "many others did not get that many B’s. They got C’s., so I am doing good." This is illustrative of how many people feel about their ballroom dancing skills. They figure that they see so many others hardly doing the standard of their level, so they are doing great. However, trying to attain a higher point  is an even finer achievement. 

There is a couple dancing when we are dancing on Sundays  and their names are Paula and Martin. Paula and Martin think they are very good dancers and they get up and dance their style and they think they are wonderful dancers. However, the only training they have had is going to about six yearly dance camp vacations.There they spend the weekend  learning in a group atmosphere.They watch a lot and try to imitate what they see and feel that they have extra special training moments. They have trained their minds to feel good about themselves and then they come back and dance for all to see their achievements.They feel in their hearts that they are excellent at what they do and C’s are O.K. because so many others are not ( in their opinion) doing as well as they are.

This is a good attitude in a sense because at least they are dancing, they are not promoting thoughts in their minds that they are inadequate.They feel elated in what they have accomplished and so they enjoy their dancing hobby more than folks who do not feel that competent. Paula and Martin are really not that competent in what they do, but they see themselves better than what they really are. This can be a positive thing because at least they are accomplishing having fun and feeling good about dancing.This is a better feeling than many others that I know who sit many dances out because they think themselves under dance educated. A good idea is to shift your energy to a higher purpose and imagine yourself doing your thing in a higher division . Your mind eventually perceives this as attaining the goal and the more you practice this thought process in your mind, the more you will feel better about yourself.This leads to the confidence of Paula and Martin and encourages your feet and mind to get out there and do whatever you do. Even if you are not as good as others, you have had at least the motion, the movement,the courage and the emotion to continue your dancing. You feel excellent about yourself and you need not fill your mind with negative thoughts. Dancing becomes your friend and your friend gives you pleasure.It is divine to be a friend to yourself.

I know a woman who is about eighty-three years of age and though she does not dance anymore (they gave it up about ten years ago) she thinks that whatever she does is the greatest. She thinks herself better than her neighbors in the court she lives on.She thinks she is better looking, that her house is prettier on the inside and the outside, that her flowers along the walkway are more colorful, that she is the only one in the neighborhood who cooks from scratch and therefore she is the most special person she knows. Technically she is none of the above, she is very homely, her cooking is just fair and there are many houses on the block that are more attractive than hers and her flowers are not very colorful. I admire her "chutzpah" ( guts and gall) in her beliefs,because her beliefs are solid gold in her mind and she works from that attitude in making her life very happy and content.

Being content at this point in our lives is a very special thing and I admire contented people. People who are happy in their own skin and people who present themselves to others as happy people. We look at them and wonder sometimes where they get their chutzpah from. They get it from their sheer moments of inner peace and even though this peace originates from small pieces of special doings or moments or small accomplishments, they are happy and fulfilled and that is what it is all about in this moment of our lives whether we be seniors, not yet seniors or younger folks. It is good to strive for higher accomplishments, but if we cannot attain them, then B’s equal A’s and as young Andrew said ,many others did not even get B’s like I did, they got C’s. Andrew has a point there because he at nine years of age was content with his B’s and rightly so. Our energy should be directed to trying to attain higher heights, but if we cannot reach those heights, than the height we have climbed is pretty darn good.

This can be applied to other ideas in our lives. I know a man who was manager of a local chain restaurant. He was an excellent worker giving of his time more than he received payment in salary for and the employees all adored him because he treated them as a family and honored their wishes if they needed time off on a special work day. He respected each and every employee’s thoughts and therefore these employees granted him in return  respect and gave him a good day’s work. However, the managing manager who was the top boss treated everyone including my friend with lots of disrespect as to their work ethics, to their personal times and in general was obnoxious. The employees hated coming to work on the days she was the top boss.They enjoyed their work when my friend was the manager of the day.

It did not matter to the nasty boss, she went about her way being disliked at the highest level from the workers. This is not the way to treat people, whether they are your family or co-workers. Ironically, she got rewarded in the job position and she left to become a supervising manager of many restaurants and moved away down South. The employees were so gratified at her leaving, they started to shine in their jobs because the stress and trauma of being around her was alleviated. She had not learned that you can attract people being happy in their jobs by being decent, honorable and courteous. My friend left because of the stress and now is doing another job where he is shown politeness and appreciation. It does not matter that the mean manager got promoted, she was lucky, it matters how we perceive our self and if we set high standards as to our dealings with others, than we are worthwhile and honorable folks.

Dad was a very honest man. He had an insurance policy that if he got injured and unable to work, an insurance company called Mutual Of Omaha (at that time 55 years ago) would pay him about thirty dollars a week for the weeks he was unable to work. Thirty dollars was not a lot of money, but at least it would help to pay bills in those days. So on Thursday nights, he would take out the garbage cans as it was collected on Fridays. We lived on the second floor of a single and large family home. Each tenant took out their garbage and set it in the front street. An inspector from the Mutual came by and must have seen Dad take out the garbage and reported to the company that  this man should no longer receive the measly thirty dollars per week. He had received it for one month at that point. They notified Dad they were discontinuing it. They called the doctor, Dr. Gross and told him so and in those days no computers to communicate with.Dr. Gross called them up and said these words “ you will find no more honest, dependable and caring man than Joseph B. Sohmer of Coldspring Lane. This man is so honest  and just because he took out garbage for garbage day does not mean he is capable yet of returning to work. His wife has a heart condition and who was there to take it out. You should be ashamed of yourselves to even contemplate eliminating his payment. I, the doctor will notify you when he is able to start to work. Not your investigator who does not know what honesty is. This man is too trustworthy and wonderful to do anything wrong. However, I will tell all my patients never to buy such a policy from your company.”

Dad continued to get a few more weeks’ payments and then he was off again to work.

The moral of this story is being upstanding,scrupulous and honorable is in the eye of the beholder and rather than be the one looking aghast at someone for something you think he or she is committing, turn your eyes and see the good they are performing and you will complete a mitzvah(good deed) and you will help someone, anyone to feel respected, worthwhile and the plain simple word of good.They always say that one good deed deserves another good deed. Good here meaning excellent, commendable and marvelous. You will be all of that and much more in your mind, in your heart and in your daily living. At this time of first
Thanksgiving, then Christmas, Chanukah or whatever holiday you observe, you will be an all ‘A’ person, not a B or C person. A- standing for altruistic, accommodating, alive and attractive.