Community Corner

Same-Sex Couple Tries to Change Opinions on Gay Marriage in Maryland

Despite a failed effort to get same-sex marriage legalized, gay activists in the Cockeysville area fight to change opinions about homosexuals.

Russ Parrott and Mark Willard have been in a committed relationship for 22 years and, like any other couple, they laugh, fight and “pay our BGE bills.”

But, being in a homosexual relationship, Parrott and Willard have been struggling to accept a vote by the House of Delegates in March to send a proposed same-sex marriage law back to committee,

“A lot of times I feel angry about it,” said Willard, a landscape architect. “I think it’s strange for people I don’t know to tell me I can’t marry the person I’ve been with for so long. We’re here and we’re not any different from anyone else. We don’t want to be perceived differently.”

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Parrott and Willard, who live in Phoenix, said they believe ignorance about homosexuals is the main impediment for legalizing same-sex marriage.

“People who don’t know gay people have this idea in their head about who we are,” said Parrott, a salesman. “If you can get around the ignorance, people can render better judgments about what they support.”

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And this pair knows firsthand about changing perspectives on homosexuality.

When they first moved to Phoenix seven years ago, the couple was stunned to hear that some neighbors were making comments about them behind their backs.

“I never realized neighbors were talking about us,” Parrott said. “I didn’t realize they were talking about the ‘gay boys building the house on the hill.’ I didn’t realize we were an oddity.”

Willard was hurt by the comments. 

“I want to ask these people, 'Where do you get this hate from?'” Willard said. “I don’t know who teaches these people to hate.”

As they started attending community meetings and events, Parrott and Willard were able to show their neighbors they’re just like everyone else.

“The best way for people to change is for it to affect their lives,” Willard said. “I believe in the goodness of the human spirit. I don’t think people want to be inherently discriminatory.”

Kelley Gilmore, who works with Parrott and Willard for Equality Maryland, agrees that exposure to gay culture is critical for acceptance.

“Northern Baltimore County is a conservative area,” said Gilmore, a marketer from Phoenix.

Gilmore has been in a gay relationship for 11 years. 

“We have broken barriers just by living our lives. People have gotten to know us. I’d rather you not like me for being a jerk, not because I’m gay,” Gilmore said.

Gilmore, Parrott and Willard all spoke with their state delegates about the same-sex marriage issue. When they attended a , Wade Kach, the Republican delegate of District 5B, stated that he would not support gay marriage.

During the question and answer session of the meeting, Gilmore faced a jeering crowd when she asked Kach if he was willing to provide her, a gay American, the same rights as everyone else.

"Rights that are denied to people because they are gay—I will support [these rights]," Kach said. "But I do not believe we should sanction gay marriage."

His response was met with applause. 

“Twenty years from now he’ll look like a bigot. He’ll be on the wrong side of history,” Gilmore said. “We’re here and they can’t brush us aside. I want to give it a face.”

Kach declined to comment.

Many oppose same-sex marriage for religious reasons, but Parrott argues that it's a civil issue.

“The marriage equality bill is saying that we want people to be married in the state. We’re not asking for a religious bond,” he said. “I believe religions should be able to do what they want but this is a civil matter.”

Still, Gilmore said she is hopeful that things will turn around for the gay community.

“People who don’t have gay people in their lives are misinformed and being scared into opposing gay marriage,” she said. “Just being is what will change the world.”


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